


Fatherhood is a Helluva Place to Be

by AmySear



Series: The Foster Sister and the Soldier [6]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes adjusts to fatherhood, Could be Reader/James 'Bucky' Barnes if you replace yourself with the OC, F/M, Fluff, Having a baby sucks for the first few weeks, Jane Foster's Little Sister, Protective Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers Is a Good Bro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-19
Updated: 2015-04-19
Packaged: 2018-03-24 20:37:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3783565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmySear/pseuds/AmySear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Winter Soldier adjusts to being a father. It sure as hell is not easy. His baby mama is having a hard time doing everything alone. Captain America and the Avengers have a plan to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fatherhood is a Helluva Place to Be

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own any Marvel characters except Amy Foster. This story may make more sense if you read the others in the series. Rated Teen for language. Thanks for reading!

A baby with big blue eyes and a tuft of mousy brown hair stared at the Winter Soldier and gurgled slightly. Bucky eyed the infant warily from where he sat on the couch two feet away from the bassinet in the living room. The former Hydra assassin had a new routine lately. He would sit and keep watch over his son, but never hold him or touch him. His eyes shifted to a figure in the kitchen who was cleaning bottles in the sink. Bucky’s chest tightened at the sight. Amy Foster looked exhausted. Her red hair seemed to be permanently in a messy bun. She hadn’t put make-up on in weeks so her puffy eyes from sleep deprivation and crying were especially noticeable. And as much as he didn’t mind the difference, her milk-laden breasts looked unbearably swollen. 

“Bucky, do you want me to make you a sandwich? Are you hungry?” her voice asked softly as she dried off the last of the bottles. 

Again, always thinking of him. That was his girl. He shook his head and called her over to the couch. The younger Foster sister shuffled over to her boyfriend (or was it fiancé?) and practically collapsed next to him. Bucky immediately wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tight against him. A small cry reluctantly broke their hug. 

Donald Virgil Barnes (“Donald? You named your child, DONALD?” Darcy had first exclaimed) was not a patient child. He was naturally inquisitive like his aunt Jane, impatient as his godmother Darcy, and also did not like sharing his mother…ironically, just like his father. Amy sighed softly as she gave Bucky a quick kiss on his cheek before pushing off him to check on her son. “It’s okay, Donny. Mommy and daddy are here,” she cooed as she picked up the whining infant and cradled him in her arms. 

The redhead watched her lover slowly move away from the couch to a standing position by the kitchen counter and found the tears threatening to spill over her puffy eyes again. Bucky had tolerated close contact with the infant for only a few hours after his son’s birth before completely detaching and distancing himself from him. He thought he was being sly about it, always claiming perimeter checks and safety as his excuse to get away. But Amy saw through that. She was probably the only person in the world (next to Steve) who understood Bucky the most. Amy was trying to respect his anxiety knowing this was one hell of a thing to experience since Bucky was only re-introduced to the world in the last two years, but she found herself at the end of her rope. She was doing everything alone…..feeding, changing diapers, bathing, holding the baby……all Bucky would do is sit annoyingly nearby like a fierce watchdog. She needed a partner, but instead had a security robot. 

Thankfully the newly repaired door to the apartment clicked open to distract Jane’s sister from her emotions. “Honey, I’m home!” Darcy Lewis’ voice called. She and Steve Rogers came down the hallway into the living room with arms full of shopping bags. “We have food, baby clothes, movies…. we are set for our Lord of the Ring movie-watch-a-thon!” the former intern smiled to her flat mates. 

Her grin dissolved slowly as she saw her friend’s struggle to smile back and Bucky’s blank stare. Darcy whipped around to face Steve who was already putting groceries away. “Steve! They are a level 10! I told you! We need to intervene.” 

Captain Rogers frowned and came back into the living area. One look at Amy and Bucky confirmed Darcy’s accusation. He plastered a friendly smile on his face and slowly approached Amy and Donny. He took a seat on the couch. “Hey partner,” he said to his godchild,” How’s it going? Are you terrorizing your mom again?” He gently grabbed Donny from Amy and stood up to gently rock back and forth.

“Yo, Amy. Why don’t you and Bucky go take a rest together for a few hours? Take a shower, sleep….do whatever you guys need to do,” Darcy suggested gently.

“I’m not compromised,” the former assassin answered before Amy could say anything. His eyes were narrowed and cautiously watching every move Steve made with Donny as he clearly did not like his child being held by others. Amy nodded in agreement, though she looked slightly disappointed. 

Steve had to resist rolling his eyes. He thought he was two years past Bucky being balls deep in the Soldier mode. Apparently it had come back with a vengeance. The Captain tried a new approach. “Bucky, I think Amy needs your help. She shouldn’t be left alone to bathe or sleep. Look at her….she’s exhausted. She could get hurt.”

Icy blue eyes flickered over to his girlfriend. Amy was shaking her head to deny the claim, but the Soldier in him saw how frail she was. The odds were against him….who was more important to protect? His girl or his son? 

“I can call Thor or Clint over to do a perimeter sweep if it makes you feel better?” Darcy offered as she guessed Bucky’s thinking. “Steve and I will stay with Donny here in the living room and you and Amy can go to your side of the apartment to rest.”

The Winter Soldier considered her words for a moment. The large Asgardian was definitely protective of his nephew and the archer had easy access to air ducts for inspection. Bucky nodded begrudgingly. “Get a perimeter check going. We won’t be long.”

Darcy helped Amy stand up. Amy placed a quick kiss on her son’s head. “There is fresh milk in the fridge. I will have to pump soon, but you should have plenty for an hour or two,” Amy said apologetically to Steve.

“We’ve done this before, mama. Only difference is you usually have been in the room. We’ll be okay. Get some good rest,” Steve ordered with a smile. It was true. The Captain and Darcy had held Donny countless times since his birth, but Amy was usually too exhausted to get off the couch to leave the room and Bucky had been pulling his wax-dummy routine by just staring from the corner. 

This time it was Amy who grabbed Bucky’s flesh hand to lead him back to their master bathroom. She immediately started the water in their large Jacuzzi bath. Bucky was still eyeing the door as he debated returning to his son, but his girl’s sigh brought him back to where he was. He gently helped her pull off her shirt and step out of her sweatpants. Without warning the younger Foster burst into tears and threw herself in his rigid arms.

“This is so hard,” she cried against his silver shoulder. “I didn’t know it would be so hard.” 

Bucky felt his chest tighten unbearably as he held her shaking frame in his arms. “I know,” he said simply. 

Amy wiped her eyes as she tried to gain control over her emotions. “Bucky, I know you’re nervous, and I’m trying to respect that….but I can’t do it alone. Please. You won’t hurt Donny. He’s your son. You would never hurt him. He needs you….I need you.”

Silence was her response. The blank eyes of the Winter Soldier stared back at her in a carefully guarded neutral expression. Exhaustion set in and the younger Foster realized she didn’t have the energy to fight this battle. Her soldier gently guided both of them into the large bathtub. Her eyes glazed over as the full impact of her reality set in. She vaguely felt his hands begin to wash her hair. She had a baby with a former brainwashed assassin. Why the fuck did she think this would turn out okay? What could she do now? Accept her fate? Try to leave him? ‘No’, the voice said in her head, ‘she wouldn’t leave him’. But a tiny part of her in the corner of her mind said, ‘No, he won’t LET you leave him’. She shook her wet head slightly to clear those negative thoughts. No way, she loved Bucky and he loved her. She would find a way to get through this. She had to, for Donny’s sake. 

The warm body behind her gently twisted her around so she reclined against his chest. Amy whimpered slightly in contentment as she nuzzled against Bucky as they lay together in the hot bathwater. “It will get better,” he whispered. Amy wondered for a second if he was talking to her or saying it to himself.

** 

It was a short half hour bath before Amy and Bucky forced themselves out to go retrieve their son. “Oh bullshit!” Darcy exclaimed as soon as she saw them. She was bobbing up and down as she walked the living room with Donny against her shoulder. “You’ve been gone 5 minutes. Go get your asses back to bed!”

“Lewis,” Bucky replied with narrow eyes. “Give Donny back to his mother.”

Steve immediately stepped between his friend and his girl as he saw steam practically come out from Darcy’s ears. “Really, Bucky. Everything is fine. Donny just ate and he will sleep soon. You and Amy really need to use this time to rest.”

“We did,” was a curt response.

Darcy shot him a dirty look. “Um, no, you THINK you did since you are a super soldier, but I know for a fact that a half hour isn’t enough for my average best friend. Well, not average, she’s fucking hot and all that shit, but I mean biologically she is average compared to you!”

“I’m fine, Darcy,” Amy tried to say soothingly. 

“Ehh, actually you aren’t. You look pretty bad,” a voice said from the kitchen. Bucky whipped around with a knife magically in his hand at the intrusion. “Relax, tinman. It’s just your motley family,” Tony Stark said with a smile as he led Thor, Clint, Natasha, Bruce and Jane into the apartment. 

Amy looked mortified. “Oh, uh, we weren’t expecting company. I better go change,” the redhead blushed as she tried to straighten out her sweatpants and wet hair. 

“Actually, you better stay here. This is an intervention,” Natasha said simply.

“A major intervention by the looks of it. Mini-Foster looks like she’s aged 10 years,” Stark muttered to Clint. Bruce had guided Amy over to the couch and was peering into her eyes and checking her neck as her hands failed at pushing him away. 

Jane glared at Tony before taking her nephew from her former intern. “Hi baby boy,” she cooed to the child. “Are you ready to spend time with your daddy?”

Bucky awoke from his glaring statue pose and turned toward Steve. “What the fuck is all this about?”

Steve looked slightly guilty for a moment before resuming his confidence. “Bucky….well, it is obvious that you are afraid of holding Donny and getting near him. And it’s killing Amy. Seriously. She is rundown. She needs help. As much as we want to be her help, we think it is more important for you to get over your fear and embrace your new role.”

“Yeah, as in step the fuck up!” Darcy hissed as Clint tried to clap a hand over her mouth.

“Darcy! Stop!” Amy demanded as she jumped up from her spot on the couch. “This is nobody else’s business but mine and Bucky’s!”

Jane gently laid Donny down in his bassinet. “Amy, you are going to come with us for a nap. Donny is going to stay here with his dad. Alone. Bucky will take care of the baby.” 

“Clint,” Steve said simply while staring at Bucky.

Hawkeye nodded. Before Bucky could protest, Clint scooped Amy, threw her over his shoulder, and ran out of the apartment. The redhead Foster’s voice was heard loudly protesting from down the hallway. Thor and Steve stepped between Bucky and the doorway before the assassin could follow. The Winter Soldier jerked his artificial arm so the plates recalibrated with a menacing click. “Bring me back my wife,” he said dangerously low.

“You’re not married yet!” Darcy shouted as Natasha dragged her by her arm from the room.

Stark and Bruce were slowly backing up to the door as if Bucky were a wild animal ready to charge. “You have a heart, tinman! You’ll do fine!” Stark gave him a thumbs up before Bruce shut the door with an apologetic nod. 

“My dear comrade, your lady needs rest. You have to allow her some repose. You are a good soul and will do just fine with your child,” Thor said reassuringly. 

Bullshit. All sort of alarms were ringing in Bucky’s head. He could feel his Winter Soldier persona start to take control of his body. He took a step closer to Thor and Steve with a knife in hand and a snarl when a cry broke his concentration. Apparently Donny did not like the idea of being separated from his mother either. His son’s cry brought him back to reality. He eyed the baby in the bassinet and the empty room around him. Bucky’s eyes grew wide as he realized they truly intended to leave him solo with the infant. This time he turned to Steve with a pleading expression. “Steve….please…..don’t leave me alone with him.”

Steve looked somewhat unconvinced of their mission when he saw how scared his friend looked. “Donny is your son, Bucky. You won’t hurt him,” the Captain said simply to try to justify his actions. 

“YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT I’VE DONE!” the Winter Soldier shouted back which only increased the infant’s desperate cries. 

Steve flinched slightly at the loud bellow and eyed Thor for guidance. The thunder deity saw the resolve begin to flutter in the Cap. This was their cue to leave. Thor grabbed Steve’s arm and began to lead him to the door. Again, they backed out of the apartment slowly as if waiting for Bucky to charge. “It isn’t your past that leads your future, Sergeant Barnes. You are a good man and will be a good father. Allow yourself a chance to spend time with your son,” Thor responded calmly with a reassuring smile. 

Steve felt his face pale as he saw Bucky’s eyes begin to shine with emotion. Bucky moved to follow them but stopped when Donny made a particular shrill cry from his carrier. The Soldier whipped around to see what was causing his son more distress. Steve and Thor used his distraction as an opportunity to get away. The apartment door clicked shut behind them.

Bucky growled to himself before letting out a loud yell of frustration. He slammed his fist through the countertop and threw a chair at lightning speed through the wall. After breaking almost everything in sight, he sat on the opposite side of the room and buried his face in his hands as he tried to resist his emotions from overtaking him. Donny continue to wail and wail at the top of his little lungs. 

The former asset could hear his father in the back of his head. It was only in the last year or so that he remembered his own parents, and he desperately missed them once his memories came flooding back to him. His father was always fiercely proud of his children. Bucky’s gut churned at the thought of his father seeing him now….watching his son ignore his crying grandchild. 

The idea burned a hole in his chest. The infant was crying so loud now that his little voice was becoming hoarse. Without realizing it, Bucky begin to hesitantly crawl toward the child’s bassinet next to the couch. He licked his lips and tried to steady his beating heart. “Hey, pal. It’s okay,” he whispered as he peered into the carrier. He lightly stroked the infant’s head with his flesh hand.

The child continued crying. Bucky frowned and stood up in front of the carrier. He needed to pick Donny up, but how? The last thing he wanted to do was touch the child with his metal weapon (AKA his hand). It took a few awkward tries and giving up before Bucky finally forced himself to do it. He slowly slid his right arm under the infant and leveraged him against his chest. Bucky blinked in surprise at how small his son was when he fit perfectly in the crook of his elbow against his bulging bicep. 

“You’re okay, Donny,” the former Hydra assassin said softly as he sat down on the couch with his son against him. He popped a nearby blue pacifier into his son’s mouth. “Daddy is okay too,” Bucky added to himself. 

Donny gradually stopped crying and blinked his wet eyes a few times. For a few minutes he stared at his father, blue eyes on blue eyes, before slowly closing his eyes and falling asleep. Bucky sat like that for two hours. His past life doing stakeouts and waiting for a target taught him how to sit perfectly still. For the first hour he was tensed up and frozen as a statue, but the next hour he began relaxing in the pose and even putting his feet on the couch as his son slept peacefully against him. He found himself nuzzling his shadowed chin on top of his son’s tuffy hair to kiss the top of his head. 

The Winter Soldier’s eyes narrowed in anger and suspicion when he heard the tiny creak of the apartment door opening. Tony Stark walked in first with his hands up in a surrendering pose. “I come in peace, don’t shoot,” the billionaire-former playboy-philanthropist said. 

Behind Tony was Steve and Amy. The redhead was a mess. Her eyes were red and swollen and she had short little hiccups every time she took a breath. “She sobbed the entire time she was gone. It was kinda a moot point on the whole rest thing,” Stark explained with a shrug.

Steve had eyes only for his best pal and his godchild, resting on the couch in total ease. “It looks like the whole mission wasn’t a failure. Fatherhood looks good on you, Buck,” Steve genuinely smiled.

Bucky gave his friend an annoyed glance as he held out his metal arm toward his woman. “I…tried….to….stop….them,” Amy hiccupped as fresh tears began to fall down her cheeks.

“Shh, doll. It’s okay. Donny and I are fine. C’mere. Sleep now,” Bucky whispered as the younger Foster curled against his other side and buried her face in his shirt as her sobs began to resurface.

An idea flashed in Steve’s head as he hurried down the hallway leading to he and Darcy’s side of the apartment. Tony used it as an opportunity to look around at the broken mess all over the floor. 

“Steve and Thor were pretty convinced you would step up once you were forced into it….” Stark walked over to the adjacent wall and looked through the gaping hole from the flying chair. He could see part of a guest room and master bathroom with the chair laying on the floor by the tub with a powdery mess of drywall around it. “Maybe next time you can use your words when you feel frustrated instead of destroying things? Again, that is a tenant issue, not a landlord. You’re fixing that from your paycheck.”

The Winter Soldier stared at Stark with his lip slightly curled. “Next time you try to take my girl from me, it’ll be your head through the wall instead.”

Tony put his hands up in a surrender pose again. “Don’t blame me for this. It was all Cap’s idea. You needed the push.”

Captain America entered the room at that moment with his new digital camera in hand. Before Bucky could question it, a series of flashes went off as Steve took multiple photos of Bucky curled up on the couch with his son snoring peacefully on him and his lady curled up against his side. “Now that is a picture worth framing,” Steve smiled gleefully as he flipped through the pictures on the phone.

Stark gestured toward the door. “Let’s leave now while he can’t get up, Capsicle. He was already threatening bodily harm to us for taking mini-Foster.”

Steve shrugged. “I would probably do the same. We knew this would be his reaction.” The super soldier stared at the mess around the apartment as if it was a normal occurrence. “I’m gonna stick around and wait for Darcy to get home.”

Tony made a face like ‘it’s your funeral’ before saluting the soldiers and exiting the apartment. Steve sat at the base of the couch next to his friend. He jerked his head toward the redhead woman. “Is she?....”

Bucky nodded. “She’s asleep. She’ll be out for a while.”

Steve gently pushed some hair out of Amy’s face. “Good. She needs to sleep. Poor thing was crying herself silly.” Captain America eyed his friend apologetically. “You’re not mad, are you Buck? You know we did it out of love.”

The Winter Soldier scowled. “There are some issues you don’t push, my kid’s safety being one of them……but no, I can’t stay mad at you. You’re a punk, but you were coming from a good place. I saw what I was doing to her….I knew things needed to change. Just wasn’ sure how.”

Captain Rogers nodded gratefully. “Thanks….I’m glad. Things will get better. Parenthood can’t be easy, but it will sure as hell be easier with all of us working together.”

Amy took a deep breath and pushed herself closer to Bucky. Steve smiled as her son mirrored his mother’s movement on top of his father. Both resumed their peaceful sleeping. Bucky kissed Amy’s head softly and caressed her back softly with his metal arm. “I didn’t like being away from her. Brought back bad memories,” Sergeant Barnes said thoughtfully. He eyed Steve suspiciously. “I think Clint needs to get payback for his role in her kidnapping. He was a little too enthusiastic when he threw her over his shoulder.”

“Maybe he has a thing for redheads,” Steve teased as Bucky’s eyes narrowed. The Captain chuckled softly. “Just kidding, just kidding. You know Natasha would have his balls. Whatever you plan, I want no part in it!”

Bucky smiled and settled in the pillow behind his head. “Have it your way, punk. I owe my woman revenge. Gotta teach the boy how not to be a pushover. Lots of lessons ahead for this kid.”

Steve laughed and stretched his legs out in front of him to settle in a nap on the floor. “You do that, Papa Bucky. Welcome to fatherhood.” 

“It’s a helluva place to be,” Bucky muttered before closing his own eyes, letting the silence of the apartment lull all the occupants into a dream-filled slumber.

**Author's Note:**

> My next plan is to write the origin story of how Amy and Bucky and Darcy and Steve all got together. That will be a pretty big project so it may take some time. I appreciate you taking the time to read :)


End file.
